Make Yourself a Happy Valentine's Day

On February 15th, 2010 I went for my regular walk through the park with my dog. Unfortunately, I found a man who had committed suicide the night before. I came too late. There was nothing I could do. I called 911. They came, but they can’t perform miracles. It was over.

Why?

A thousand excuses ran through my head, most of them involving the economy. I figured he probably lost his job, his home was about to be foreclosed on, credit card debt etc. My astute husband guessed differently. He said, “It happened on Valentine's night, that can’t be a coincidence, it must be related to his love life.” Ugh. Surely, a lonely Valentine’s Day could not warrant taking one’s life? My sorrow for this poor man I’d never met consumed me for a week. If only was my mantra. If only I had come upon him in time to talk him out of it, if only the store had not sold him that rope, if only he had sought counseling, if only his family and friends had known about his plans. . . .

Even though there had been nothing I could do and the man was a stranger to me--to this day I do not know his name--it bothered me for a while. I only told a handful of people and did not blog about it. I avoided walking that route for weeks. Eventually I made myself go that way, but I thought of him every time I passed the spot. A few months later a spring wind storm uprooted the cemented wooden boards of the covered picnic table where I found him. Oddly enough, several other similar tables in the park were not damaged. The Parks and Recreation Department came and took the dreadful table away. Somehow its removal symbolized for me, the man finding peace and I no longer think of him each time I pass that spot.

But today I did. And I’m thinking of others, too. Others, who may not have a valentine or who may be at odds with the person who they want to be their valentine. I hope those people enjoy the day anyway. Be good to yourself. Read a good book. Make a special meal. Treat yourself. Be your own best valentine. Love yourself for Valentine’s Day. You deserve it.

What about me? Well, I started my Valentine’s celebration yesterday. I made my family a delicious meal: rib-eye steaks, loaded baked potatoes, asparagus, salad and brownies for dessert. As for my own special Valentines Day treat I’m reading Plum Lovin’ by Janet Evanovich. It’s fitting since it’s set during Valentine’s Day weekend. Evanovich is funny and can always be counted on a for a light, good read and I deserve it.

You can love others, too, but don’t forget to love yourself for Valentines Day.

“Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.” Leo Buscaglia

I Took a Pass During the Game

I was born and raised in Wisconsin. Everybody I know from there watched the Packers win the ‘Big Game’ yesterday. I’m the exception. Oh, I was a good sport about it. I made chili, guacamole, and all kinds of other yummy snacks to serve my household. Back in the day, I used to watch the game just to see all the cool ads, but now I can see them on the Internet anytime so I really saw no point in watching.

The truth is, while I enjoy most sports, I’m just not a football person. Since opposites do attract, it’s no surprise that my husband loves it. When we were newlyweds I went out of my way to develop an interest in football. I thought it would be good for us to have a hobby we could do together. I watched, asked questions and really tried to give it a fair shake before I said, “Uh uh, no thanks, this game isn’t for me, you can have this hobby all to yourself.” I know it’s popular with many people, but as far as I’m concerned football has too many rules and too much stopping for things like changing out offense and defense. Oh, did I mention that it’s played outdoors in the fall and winter and it’s freezing cold?

I have to admit though, that hot chocolate does help with the cold. (I’ve found most things become tolerable if chocolate is involved.) Anyway, my one exception is I do attend high school football games with my husband and family. I started doing this when our oldest daughter started high school. Now that my youngest is a junior I’m still going. Of course, I typically just watch the cheerleaders and the band, but I have to admit I do have fun going.

Basketball. Now that’s a whole different thing. I enjoy basketball. It moves fast and it’s exciting. I typically follow the NCAA tournament, especially the last three games when the final four play. I think I would enjoy hockey too, if not for the fighting. I get irritated when the ref just stands there and watches them fight. It seems contrived, kind of like WWE wrestling. Because it’s exciting, I could get into hockey, but I would need a hot chocolate to fight the cold.

So, what did I do during the big game yesterday? I read and I was really happy doing it. It’s a perfect world, the rest of the family enjoyed their day and I got to enjoy mine, too.

"May you live all the days of your life!" Jonathan Swift

The Crock Pot of Life

When it comes to cooking I’m not into following an exact recipe. I like to play it pretty loose in the kitchen. That’s why I love crock pots. The whole concept of throwing whatever you happen to have on hand into the pot in the morning and finding a surprise at dinner time is wonderful. Today I dumped chicken and broth, brussel sprouts, onion, red pepper, carrots and a bunch of spices into the pot. I’m planning on adding rice later. Yum.

Dinner is one thing, but I’m pretty structured when it comes to my life. I'm not comfortable mixing things randomly together and hoping for the best. I’m constantly prioritizing, wondering, “What’s the most important thing I should do right now?”

My family and our household have always been a major focus. Financial responsibility ranks high, too. Of course, I always make time for God. And now I’m launching a career as a writer. I take this all pretty seriously. I get upset when I don’t finish important things on my list. I think, “Oh no! Time is ticking away, I need to hurry.” My shoulder muscles tighten up, I get nervous.

But today I started thinking about the crock pot. I never put anything in there I don’t like. I only add good ingredients and it always seems to turn out. Maybe if I could just relax with life, and keep adding the good stuff: God, love, family, reading, writing, fun, the outdoors, etc. Maybe then everything will work out great. Worrying about the details--how much time should be spent on what and when--probably isn’t that important in the broader scheme of things. I really need to just live and enjoy. Sometimes the most obvious things are the hardest to see.

It’s sixty nine degrees in Denver today, it may be winter, but it feels like spring. I’m going to take advantage of the day and go for a walk. When I get back I’ll munch on that crock pot in the kitchen. It’s already starting to smell good.

“See where your own energy wants to go, not where you think it should go. Do something because it feels right, not because it makes sense.” Mary Hayes-Grieco

Middle-aged Moms can Tweet, too.

My daughter has been nagging me to set up a Twitter account for months. (I had no idea role reversal would start so young. She’s in her early twenties and she’s already bossing me around.) Anyway, a friend of mine has irrational fears about electronic conveniences from computers to cell phones. It’s like she thinks it’s going to blow up if she pushes the wrong button. (That couldn’t happen. Could it?) Honestly, I find technology daunting, too, but I don’t want the world to pass me by so I force myself to keep trying new things.

I have to admit, my daughter was right. I think I’m going to love Twitter. I’m following people I find interesting: publishers, agents, writers, gold and silver investors, successful entrepreneurs, and comedians. Several gold investors and literary agents have tweeted articles I read and liked. I would have missed those columns if not for Twitter. Ellen DeGeneres has had me in stitches several times. When someone tweets about an article or a YouTube video I just click on it and it appears. It’s so easy.

What I did find confusing at first was when one person is replying to another, but I’m starting to get the hang of that, too. So far I’ve re-tweeted three tweets I found helpful and thought others might like. I think I will stand back and watch for a few days before I start initiating tweets. I also want my daughter to teach me how to tweet with my phone and not just my computer.

I adapted to cell phones and computers, I’m on facebook, I’ve got this blog, I don’t think there is any reason why I won’t be a successful tweeter, too.

“Those who say it can’t be done shouldn’t interfere with those who are doing it.” Billy Eberhart

Confessions of a Fledgling Writer

~I cried when I wrote the flood scene in my book.

~I back up my work infrequently.

~I. Hate. Punctuation,

~Somedays I don’t write at all.

~I steal dialogue out of my kids’ mouths.

~During my critique group meetings, I learn as much from hearing the evaluations of other members' manuscripts as I do from the appraisals of my own work.

Whew! I’m glad I got that off my chest. I guess the important thing is I keep at it and don’t give up.

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier - not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability to do has increased.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Plodding wins the race.” Aesop

Cleaning out the Fridge and Weeding out Extra Words

I cleaned out my refrigerator the other day. Yuck. There were numerous re-sealable plastic containers of leftovers from the holidays. As I dumped each bowl into the sink nothing seemed even remotely appetizing. I remember everything being so yummy on Christmas, a week and a half later -- not so much.

Writing is like that. When I’m composing that first draft, I’m totally on a roll. Fabulous ideas are popping into my head. The characters are speaking to me. It’s so good! Then I come back a month later to revise and think, “What? This dialogue is unnatural. Where’s the description? etc.”

It’s annoying, but it’s part of the process. The point is, when I clean out my refrigerator I typically find delicious leftovers from two nights ago that are still perfectly good. No one was eating them because they were hidden behind the milk. Heck, they were right next to the baking soda and are as fresh as can be. It’s the same when I’m editing. There are usually scrumptious paragraphs of emotion and great conflict tucked among the pages. I relish discovering them.

I enjoy cutting out the garbage just as much. I can be verbose on one page and have minimal description on the next. It’s not unlike noticing it’s time to restock the refrigerator after you purge all the yucky stuff.

There is one last thing cleaning the refrigerator and writing have in common. They’re both satisfying!

No matter how hard I looked today I couldn’t find a relevant quote. So, I’m writing my own. Here goes.

The difference between food and writing is good writing comes with time and good food goes bad with time.

WRAPPING UP AND LOOKING FORWARD

Like many people, in December I like to analyze my progress and plan goals for the upcoming new year. Below are reports on my writing ‘career development’ this past year and my objectives for 2011. I hope you had a wonderful 2010 and I wish you a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

SOCIAL MEDIA

I have a three year plan for social media. The first step was joining Facebook in 2009. I’m still on Facebook and have enjoyed the opportunity to reconnect with family and friends in other states. (With all our moves, I have more faraway friends than nearby friends here in Colorado. Facebook has truly been a blessing.)

The second phase was this blog. I started it in late January of 2010. Committing to write the blog was much harder than using facebook. Making a public statement, saying to anyone who’d listen -- “I AM A WRITER” -- is difficult. I’d often think of things to say, but felt they were too personal or worse yet, too boring, to share. I’m learning how to come up with suitable blogging topics and working on acquiring a distinctive ‘blog voice.’ In 2011 I hope to be a more frequent blogger and post more than my thirty offerings this year.

The other plan for 2011 is to create my Twitter account. Thank goodness my young adult daughter is living in town and offered to help me with this. (I wouldn’t have a clue how to begin without her.) As soon as I have my Twitter information available I'll pass it on to you. I’m hoping Twitter will be easier than blogging and be as fun as Facebook.

NO WRITER IS AN ISLAND

One of my goals at the start of this year was to join a critique group. It didn’t go well at first. Initially I found only one person. We emailed a few times, but never shared our work. She decided to go back to school and was not going to have time.

Next I found a small group. We met several times, but they were all so busy with their day jobs they could not commit to consistently meet. The group disbanded.

Luckily this fall I joined a new group. These writers are dedicated and come regularly. They have also provided valuable insight on my work. Another bonus is most of them live nearby. Yay! My fingers are crossed that this group will stay together.

In addition to seeking critique partners, I’ve attended all but one 2010 SCBWI (Society of Childrens’ Book Writers and Illustrators) Denver Schmooze meetings. These talks are led by Hilari Bell and Anna-Maria Crum, two published authors. They cover various “how to” writing topics. I’ve learned a lot at these meetings and have made some friends.

EDITING

I’ve re-worked my THE FAMILY SECRET - A Rainy Day manuscript numerous times. I know it’s improving, but it could still use some skilled editing before I send it to agents and editors. So, I applied to the SCBWI - Rocky Mountain Chapter’s Mentorship program hoping I could get some skilled direction. I found out I was accepted into the program in November. I will be working with published author Claudia Mills. Yay! Claudia already has a copy of my manuscript and we will be working together from January to June. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to work with her. She is a prolific author with so much to offer.

WRITING

I’m struggling along with the first draft of the second novel in THE FAMILY SECRET SERIES. I worked on it during NANOWRIMO, but I’m snagged with some plot issues.

Last night, from nowhere, this really cool idea for a middle grade basketball novel came to me. (No. I’ve never played basketball, but I do like to watch.) Anyway, yesterday afternoon, my husband had a basketball game on in the family room while I absently cleaned in the adjoining kitchen. I really wasn’t paying much attention, but it must have impacted my subconscious. At bedtime we watched the old movie Crocodile Dundee. I started to doze off and then suddenly, sat up completely awake and scribbled down this basketball plot idea. (The only thing I will divulge is it has to do with foul trouble, but really it is sooo much more than that. The main character is speaking to me, I swear.) First thing this morning I re-read my notes and took the dog for a walk. (I do some of my best pre-writing while walking Charlie.) The more I walked the more the idea made sense. I think I might be on to something here. Yay! (Don’t worry, so far, there are no crocodiles in the book, the Crocodile Dundee movie seemed irrelevant to the thoughts floating around in my subconscious mind.)

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.” Edith Lovejoy Pierce