Help with Dialogue

I tried a new editing tactic this week. I recorded all the speech for my main character on one document. Seeing a list of Jenna’s conversation has made it easy for me to spot a few comments that aren’t true to her personality. I’ve edited her dialogue before, but only in the context of the whole story. When I’m looking at a page of pure Jenna I notice some statements seem to be more about pushing the plot forward, rather than expressing how she feels. Now that I’ve detected these inconsistencies it’s easy to correct them. I’m so pleased with the results I plan to do the same thing for each of my other characters. It shouldn’t take long. The process was much easier than I anticipated. I used the Command “F” function on my computer. The computer highlighted all her lines and all I had to do was copy and paste them to my worksheet.

The exercise made me think about how different people say the same thing in unique ways. Many factors including a person’s, age, sex, attitude, background, geographical setting and historical time period all contribute to their speech pattern. I decided to play around with this concept and write the same basic message communicated by five fictional individuals. It was fun.

Here’s my setting and message to be communicated:

It’s late at night, a person is tired. They realize they need to go on an errand to get an item they require first thing in the morning. They tell a family member they’re leaving for a while.

1.) “Well, it beats me how the vittles disappear ‘round here. Do ya reckon if I went next door the neighbors’ll lend us some?”

2.) “Yo. Go’in to the store. Back in twenty.”

3.) “I will venture into the darkness like an owl and return fully supplied.”

4.) “We’re 86ed on milk. I’m heading to the store. Be back by 2200 hours so I can get some shut eye. Can I get you anything?”

5.) “Oh Fiddlesticks! We forgot to pick up milk at the store when we were there earlier. I hate to badger you, but would you mind running to the market to pick some up?” Sigh. “All right, I suppose I’ll drag my tired bones over there myself.”

A lesson from NCIS.

I’ve wrestled with guilt on Tuesday nights, thinking my time would be better spent reading, rather than watching my favorite show, NCIS. I figured if I studied published authors my writing would improve. I’m surprised to realize I was learning to be a better writer as I watched the show. I had this revelation when Script Frenzy, http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/, dared me to participate in their April screen writing event. Thinking about writing for T.V. reminded me that television programs tell stories just like books do. Watching NCIS, has taught me about character development and plot, and also given me a sense of how these two devices work together to tell stories.

The show utilizes and highlights the characters that will make each week’s ‘whodunnit’ mystery, most interesting. An NCIS agent will take the lead in an investigation with relevance to something the viewer knows about his background. For example, both Ziva and Tony, have childhood issues stemming from poor father figures. Their father hang-ups drive sub-plots for each of them during various episodes. So does Gibbs’ unhealed grief from the murders of his wife and daughter. As the character deals with their personal problems they grow. I’ve watched Ziva evolve from a cutthroat trained killer, to a conscientious agent. In addition, every episode, throws in red-herrings and plot twists that mislead the NCIS team and viewers. (Well, except for Gibbs, whose gut instincts typically solve the crime).

There’s comic relief, too. Ziva has a funny habit of mixing up aphorisms, changing the meaning. Don’t get me started talking about goth Forensic Specialist Abby. A discussion about her character could be book length. I can’t omit Ducky and McGee, they’re favorites of mine, too. (While I’m on the subject of McGee, I’ll mention he shouldn’t have used his co-workers personalities as models for characters in his book. That’s a no-no for writers).

Anyway, the point is, I’ve become attached to the characters on the show. If I can get my readers to become emotionally involved in my characters like I am with the NCIS cast, my books are sure to be successful. Analyzing NCIS has given me a new perspective on television. Will I still read? Of course, but I’m not going to beat myself up for watching television, either. Will I write a script in April? Not this time, I’m too focused on my middle grade mystery series, maybe next year.

Here’s a Ziva-ism for the road.

Tony: Where is she?

Ziva: She’s probably passed on by now.

McGee: The term is passed out.

Ziva: Whatever. The girl is tired.

Spring Cleaning for the Writer

I’m married to an engineer. On our honeymoon, I borrowed his nail clippers, dropping it back into his toiletries bag when I was done. He approached me later, asking if I would please put his things back where I found them after I borrowed them. “I did,” I said. “No, I always keep that in the upper right hand corner of the bag,” he explained. In an instant, I realized there were night and day differences in how we keep our stuff.

The funny thing is we both have organizational challenges. While he may be more precise about how he keeps his things, he has hoarder tendencies. I’m much less stringent about exact locations where I store things. (I once misplaced a “how to get organized” book I borrowed from the library.) What I’ve got going for me is I keep less stuff. Whether you’re a structured hoarder or a disordered minimalist, most anyone can improve their efficiency by becoming more organized.

Spring cleaning is the perfect time to re-work your writer organization systems and make sure you're using them to their full potential. Two systems I use are a writer’s “bible” for the current manuscript I’m working on, and index cards for ideas I have that may become future projects.

My writer’s “bible” is a notebook where I record facts about all the characters and locales in my book. I do it to prevent inconsistencies. For example, if I report my main character is an only child in chapter one, it wouldn’t be good for her brother to come home from college in chapter five. Spring is a great time to re-read your manuscript and writer’s “bible” to ensure everything has been recorded in the “bible” and that there are no inconsistencies. This is especially relevant if you are writing a series, since the same characters and locations are likely to reappear in future books.

A second helpful tool is to use index cards to keep track of future story ideas. I adopted this organization system last year after hearing children’s writer Patrick Jennings, http://www.patrickjennings.com/about.shtml, speak at a writer’s conference. He explained how he runs around with a pack of index cards--the kind bound by a spiral with perforations on each card. He jots down ideas about the various projects he has in his head whenever and wherever they come to him. Later, when he gets home, he tears the cards out and files them. His filing system consists of groups of index cards. The more cards the closer he is to starting a project. He said when he first gets an idea he groups the cards together in a rubber band. When it gets too thick to be manageable he uses an accordion file, when that fills up he transfers the cards to a box. He says a box full of index cards about an idea is enough for him to start a book. I started using the system about a year ago, and it’s time a few of my piles upgrade from rubber band bundles to accordion files, and in one case from an accordion file to a box.

I hope you find these tips helpful. Happy organizing!

Agents

As I begin the process of finding a publisher, I’ve been trying to put myself in the shoes of agents and editors. The more I think about it, the more I decide I’m not cut out to be an agent. They must have phenomenal time management and self discipline skills. Literary agencies receive approximately 40,000 to 100,000 submissions a year, depending on their size. I visualize agents minimized by piles of manuscripts all over their office, their email boxes at max capacity. Ewe. I’m crabby just thinking about it. I’m the type who can’t stand it when the counter is cluttered, I need clear spaces to function.

I’m guessing, as a survival mechanism, they have to keep their counters clear, too. They must force themselves to wade through manuscripts quickly, so as not to be overwhelmed by the continuous onslaught of more submissions. No matter how fast a reader they are, no agent can represent their existing projects, and at the same time, read 40,000 new books in a year. Obviously, they don’t have time to read much of most of the works coming their way. They’re like prospectors looking for gold, sifting through tons of muck -- not quite ready, not quite marketable --manuscripts, in the hopes of detecting a few particles of gold -- publication quality works. While they’re sifting, they must keep asking themselves. Do I read further? Is there potential here? I don’t envy them dealing with that kind of quick decision making pressure.

Funny thing is, I’m getting a taste of how it feels to be an agent myself as I try and find an agent. There are hundreds of them out there, with varying tastes and editorial contacts. As I filter through them, I’m overwhelmed by the number of choices.

In my search, I found a new website called webook, http://www.webook.com/literary-agents/writers.aspx. It screens manuscripts before it turns them over to agents. It will send the query back to the writer if it’s not agent ready. What a great idea! That way a writer can get their query looking it’s best before they send it off. It says the service is free now, but they may start charging writers later. I’ve also heard some published writers critique manuscripts for a fee, helping a novice writer polish their work before they send it out to agents. It used to be writers had a direct line to publishers, then agents came in between, now it seems like there are opportunities to have helpers before you get to the agent level.

The whole, finding an agent, phase is complicated. Once a manuscript is represented by an agent, things seem more straightforward. Agents hand-feed editors publication ready manuscripts that complement their product line. Publishers and editors still have lots of choices to sort through, but at least everything they receive is of professional quality. Whether you’re an agent, an editor or a publisher I imagine the best part is the opportunity to fine tune the manuscript and become part of the creative process.

Of course, writers are the luckiest of all, they get to be involved with the project from the idea phase all the way through to the book signings. :)

A good agent will help edit your book, get it into the hands of receptive editors, and make sure that you get the best possible deal. Ginny Wiehardt

Split Personality

While editing my manuscript,“The Family Secret - A Rainy Day,” I realized I’ve got a split personality. My writer persona is close to my regular, verbose and somewhat disorganized nature. My editor persona, let’s call her, Peg, is shrewd and disciplined. Peg was around all day yesterday. She kept asking, “Does this word have to be here? Will the story suffer if it’s omitted?” According to Peg a third of what I’ve written isn’t necessary. The way things are going my delete key may wear out. When Peg finished revising for the day, she put the document in a folder, noticed another file and asked, “Do we really need this? Isn’t this outdated?” After purging the file she went into the kitchen and cleaned out the refrigerator.

One of the things Peg pointed out yesterday was the need for some name changes for supporting characters. My protagonist, Jenna, has had the same name since I started writing the book. I’ve always been in tune to her character and knew what to call her from the start. The villain’s name had to change. Originally he was supposed to be someone who appeared to be a bad guy, but in the end turns out to be a nice person. Unfortunately, as the story progressed his true nasty character emerged and his nice guy name, Andy, had to go. His new name is Dirk. I had to change one name three times. First she was Melissa, then Carolyn, next she became Sam, and now she’s Kit. She’s a bossy girl, who evolved to be sporty, but not tomboyish, which is why Sam didn’t work. Kit suits her no nonsense, capable personality without denying her femininity. In my name search, I used the Prairie Den web-site’s name generator, (http://www.prairieden.com/articles/character_names.php.) Another helpful tool is the command ‘F’ feature on my computer. I can change out reoccurring names in a hundred page document in an instant.

The good news is the manuscript is improving, and the most important elements don’t require alteration. The plot and characters develop well together. They’re intertwined because before I started, Peg wrote a strict outline listing the problems protagonist Jenna encounters, how she resolves them, and ultimately experiences personal growth. I followed the outline and it seemed to work. The biggest problem Jenna deals with is her parents. Although they’re minor players in the book, with dialogue in only two scenes, their mistakes, drive the plot. They’re not villains, just flawed individuals like regular people. Her grandparents also have minor parts, but serve as better role models than her parents.

As I re-read the book yesterday I got to thinking about the important function grandparents play in a child’s life. I was lucky enough to live in the same town as all four of my grandparents. One set lived walking distance away until I was eight years old. I visited all the time. They took me on day trips to Chicago, and boat rides across Lake Michigan. My other grandparents treated me to “fish fry” dinners, a popular Friday tradition in Milwaukee.

Oops. Peg wants to cut the above paragraph and part of the one above it. I’m leaving them in to exemplify the difference between my two personalities.

“The average writer is ornate to no purpose, full of elegant variations, and can be relied upon to use three sentences where a word would do.”

Wolcott Gibbs (1902 - 1958)

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